Friday, 24 November 2017
Sunday, 12 November 2017
A great post by Dan Rockwell - A must read!
I’m still grappling with the realization that kindness/warmth is inconvenient. I’d be kind if I had the time.
Thankfully, when I work with people or organizations, they are my agenda. But what if you’re not on my agenda?
Warm and competent:
Change your thinking if you believe gunslinger-leaders get to the top.
“If you’re seen as low-warmth, you have something like a 1-in-2000 chance to make the top quartile of effectiveness as a leader.” (1) Zenger & Folkman
Don’t sacrifice warmth on the altar of competence.
The first thing teams need to know is, are you friend or foe. Do you intend harm or help?
The second thing teams need to know is, are you competent?
Leaders worry too much about competence and not enough about warmth.
Two questions that determine warmth:
- What is your intent?
- Are you able to act on your intentions?
Trustworthy leaders are warm and competent.
If you must choose between warmth and competence to build trust, choose warmth. That’s not to say that incompetent leaders are trustworthy. It is to say that we are quicker to trust warm leaders.
Adam Waytz, “Warmth really predominates judgments of trustworthiness.” (2)
The seven practices of warmth:
- Help others reach their goals. This assumes you know the goals of others.
- Display optimism, but don’t minimize challenges.
- Follow through. Leaders who don’t follow through are seen as uncaring.
- Maximize the strengths of others through coaching and mentoring.
- Challenge people to reach high and support them on the way. Low standards aren’t warm or inspirational.
- Explain an intention, seek feedback, and change. “I’m working to display optimism. What am I doing that displays optimism? How might I improve?”
- Maintain a forward-facing posture. Don’t ignore the past. Just focus on the future.
What concerns you about displaying warmth?
How might leaders display warmth?
- I’m the Boss! Why Should I Care if you Like Me?
- Measuring Trust Through Competence or Warmth
- Susan Fiske – Youtube video (not quoted.)
- The Effects of Status on Perceived Warmth and Competence (Not used in this post.)
Saturday, 14 October 2017
If we aren’t careful, as time passes, leaders expect more from others and less from themselves.
Would you hire you, if you interviewed yourself?
You expect the people you interview to answer important questions with concise clarity. Maybe it’s time to hold yourself to the same standard.
Questions to interview yourself:
1. Imagine 20 years have passed.
- What have you accomplished that makes you proud?
- What have you done to enrich the lives of others?
2. What do you wish you could do better?
Don’t humble-brag by saying silly things like, “I tend to work long hours.” Or, “I find it difficult to take time off.”
- How have your weaknesses held you back?
- How are you compensating for your weakness?
3. How forward-looking would the people you work with say you are on a scale of 1 to 10?
Suppose you believe your colleagues would give you an 8 on the forward-looking scale.
- Why didn’t you give yourself a 7?
- What would be true of you, if you were a 9 on the forward-looking scale?
4. What have you done to develop your leadership over the last 3 months?
Development requires focused attention and purposeful practice. If you aren’t working at developing your leadership, it’s not happening.
- How much time do you spend reflecting on your leadership practice?
- When are you reflecting on your leadership trajectory?
5. What leadership behaviors are essential for your future success?
6. If you don’t achieve your dreams, what will you have left undone?
7. What value do your strengths bring to the organization?
Bonus: What is your definition of leadership?
- How do you fulfill your own definition of leadership?
- How do you fall below your own definition of leadership? One way to stay humble and connected is to give yourself a job interview.
Thursday, 21 September 2017
An Outstanding post by Dan Rockwell!
A great meeting is as rare as a white moose. Count yourself fortunate if you ever see one.
Meetings include conversations in three directions.
- The leader talks to the people around the table.
- The people around the table talk to the leader.
- The people around the table talk to each other.
All three directions are relevant.
Successful leaders provide direction to meetings, but they don’t monopolize the conversation. When one person does most of the talking, the people around the table disengage.
Yes, there are times when leaders speak to inform, provide focus, or add insight. But my experience indicates that leaders talk way too much in meetings.
Ego: Today, as I listened to the conversation, I felt a need to be the “wise one.” My ego whispered, “You have ‘the’ answer. After all, they hired you because you’re so smart.” My ego loves me more than anyone else.
- Monopolizes conversations.
- Overshadows others.
- Needs the spotlight.
- Defends its viewpoint, rather than exploring another’s perspective.
- Adds too much “value” to the contributions of others.
- Loves to look like the smartest person at the table.
Ego in the leader sucks the life out of the talent around the table.
Leading the meeting isn’t dominating the conversation.
Talking to each other: 1) Strengthens connections 2) Generates surprising insights and options 3) Fuels energy.
Bigger conversations: Get people talking to each other. E.G 1) Fred, I noticed you haven’t contributed yet. What’s going through your mind? 2) Where does Wilma’s comment take our conversation. 3) Let’s generate a list of ideas that might help Barney work through his concern.
How might you lead meetings without dominating conversations?
Monday, 28 August 2017
Any bully can kick someone in the pants. It takes real leadership to inspire. If you encouraged a team member once a week, you’d do it about 58 times a year. (taking into account holidays!)
Courage takes teams further than timidity. To encourage is to inspire courage.
Negative energy is like running with rocks in your pockets.
“The way to develop the best that is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement.” Charles Schwab
12 sentence starters that inspire courage:
- I appreciate …
- I notice …
- You’re great at …
- Thank you for … (Be specific.)
- I’m impressed with …
- You help us get where we want to go when you …
- You’re making progress on …
- You encourage others when …
- Great effort when you …
- Congratulations on …
- You’re making a difference for …
- I’m encouraged when you …
Skillful leaders use encouraging language EVERYDAY!
7 sentences that inspire courage:
- Let’s give it a try.
- What’s the next imperfect step you could take?
- What would you like to try?
- What are you learning?
- If you weren’t nervous, what would you do next?
- I’ve seen you rise to challenges in the past.
- You’re on the right track.
Give yourself permission to encourage imperfect people. Don’t use someone’s weakness in one area as an excuse to withhold encouragement in another.
Lifting-up takes leaders further than beating-down.
Thursday, 24 August 2017
A great post by Dan Rockwell!
I can not notice people. I want to notice, but I’m easily distracted.
People can’t see your heart, when you’re lost in your head.
It doesn’t matter if you want to notice people. It only matters that you do.
Distraction blocks interaction.
I walk around distracted by a million things – what’s next, problems, opportunities, and performance, to name a few. I’m contemplating a coaching client’s concerns or the next presentation.
Remember you matter.
It’s easy to forget that people watch leaders. A frown on your face signals problems to the team. You may not mean to be a downer, but a nagging frown drags others down.
It ain’t hard, but it’s important.
People talk about simple things like smiling when they describe how leaders might improve their leadership.
You object that you’re not good at smiling. That’s so sad.
Bad is stronger than good. You need at least three smiles to overcome the negative impact of one frown. You’re in the hole baby. You better get smiling.
3 tips for frowning leaders to get their smile on.
- Tell yourself you like people. Think of something you like about the person in front of you. If you don’t like people, get out of leadership.
- Find a positive thing to believe in. What positive thing might you believe about others on the team?
- Admire a strength. When you walk up to someone, think about something you admire about them.
A smile that creates wrinkles around your eyes indicates that you notice positive things.
7 small things that make a positive difference.
- Show interest. “How are the kids?”
- Pat on the back.
- Bring coffee for the team.
- Celebrate progress and hard work.
- Sing happy birthday.
- Say thank you. (A smile and a little eye contact takes ‘thank you’ to a whole new level.)
What tips might you offer to frowners?
What small behaviors have big impact?
Sunday, 20 August 2017